PWI – New Feature: GM Bodyguards!

PWI – New Feature: GM Bodyguards!

 

PWI is a dangerous place, especially on a PVP server, and ESPECIALLY inside Secret Passage, where even the noobiest level 1 character can be ripped to shreds by pretty much anyone with a pulse and a thirst for blood. While we work to implement the fix to this wretched hive of scum and villainy, and in the spirit of Customer Service, we've come up with a fantastic alternative: For a nominal fee you'll be able to hire two all-powerful GM's to shadow your every move! Need to pick up Sung's Remains from Shade Eido? Don't risk life and limb as you slink through rubble-filled passages, jumping at every shadow; instead, stride proudly through each tunnel with two omnipotent GM's by your side! 

 

To take advantage of this new feature, simply head over to Jolly Old Jones and select the "Hire GM Bodyguards" option.

 

 

 

Before:

 

 

 

After:

 

 

 

Secret Passage? No problem!

 

 

Besides performing the obvious role of a bodyguard (i.e. slaying any enemy who even considers thinking about thinking of looking at you the wrong way), for a few extra ZEN, your personal GM will also be able to perform a litany of great things to the offending player, including:

 

  • Teleporting him into the sky or to the bottom of a deep body of water (See Fig. A)
  • Turning Facebook Blessing into Facebook Curse
  • Add surcharge to all cat shop transactions of said player
  • Decrease run/flight speed by 10% permanently
  • Modify waist:hips ratio
  • Sic Harpy Wraith on them (See Fig. B)
  • Add typos to all chat
  • Limit hairstyles to bald
  • Limit random pigment outcomes to pink/bright green
  • Shrink mount (See Fig. C)
  • De-level them to noobdom
  • Spam forums in their name
  • Disconnect from server during boss fights
  • Hit Windows Key
  • Raise/lower computer chair
  • Teamspeak/Skype distortion
  • Internal Affairs investigation
  • Spoil milk -> force to grocery store
  • Pie in the face
  • Parents phone call during Nirv run
  • Negative Dice rolls in Cube of Fate
  • Double Duke spam
  • Rickrolls
  • Awkward Silence
  • Unusually cold draft
  • Hot Pocket lava
  • Unquenchable thirst
  • Large spider in car while driving
  • Randomly honking car horn
  • Accept parents' Facebook requests
  • Stray unknown hair on bar of soap
  • Dirty dishes added to clean dishwasher load
  • Obscure No Parking sign
  • Microsoft Word Paperclip
  • Root canal
  • Cut brake line
  • Put on TSA Watchlist (See Fig. D)

 

Fig. A

 

 

Fig B.

 

 

 

Fig. C

 

 

 

Fig. D

 

 

 

So don't delay -- hire a GM Bodyguard today!

 

Also, happy April Fools!

 

-The PWI Team

Palavras-chave: